Isn’t it Ironic?

What if the whole of the book of Revelation is to be understood as satire or irony?

What if Jesus is the woman that rides the beast?

What if the 1000 years was only speaking of a few days? Maybe it was a literal 1000 years.

What if Jesus is the one in Revelation 20 that is bound, that is thrown into the earth, that is released after a short time(3 days)?